April Campbell-McMillan: THOUGHT OF THE DAY

To paraphrase several sages: Nobody can think and hit someone at the same time.

- Susan Sontag

"A man who knows that he is a fool, is not a great fool."

Zhuangzi (4th century BC), Chinese philosopher

"It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it."

John Steinbeck (1902 - 1968)

"If there's a thing to be said, say it; if there's a job to be done, do it."

Charles G. Dawes (1865 - 1951), American banker and politician, 30th U.S. Vice-President

"The reason why so little is done

is generally because so little is attempted."

Samuel Smiles

"He is a hard man who is only just, and a sad one who is only wise."

Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all I can borrow.

- Woodrow Wilson

"Riches do not constitute any claim to distinction.

It is only the vulgar who admire riches as riches."

Samuel Smiles

Hell is full of musical amateurs. - George Bernard Shaw

There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.

- Willa Cather

"Those who insist on the dignity of their office

show they have not deserved it."

Baltasar Gracian

"Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose."

Baltasar Gracian

"Never share your secrets with those greater than you."

Baltasar Gracian

Threats are the last resort of a man with no vocabulary.

- Tamora Pierce

When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people. - Mark Twain

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people. - Arthur Schopenhauer

We're all in this alone. - Lily Tomlin

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.

- Sylvia Plath

"Happiness is the sum total of misfortunes avoided." Alphonse Karr

To speak behind others' backs is the ventilator of the heart.

- Marjane Satrapi

"The unending paradox is that we do learn through pain."

Madeleine L'Engle

"Just because we don't understand

doesn't mean that the explanation doesn't exist."

Madeleine L'Engle

"The great thing about getting older

is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been."

Madeleine L'Engle

"Perfection is our goal. Excellence will be tolerated."

Anonymous

"Every man has three characters--that which he exhibits,

that which he has, and that which he thinks he has." Alphonse Karr

"Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns.

I am thankful that thorns have roses." Alphonse Karr

"Luck is a marriage where thinking and work are united together."

Booker T. Washington (1856 - 1915

A bad wound may heal, but a bad name will kill.

Scottish Proverb

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. - Sam Brown

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. - Steven Wright

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

- Evelyn Waugh

"If you don't know jewelry, know the jeweler."

Warren Buffet

"Anyone who says he knows God's intention

is showing a lot of very human ego."

Michael Crichton

"Do you know what we call opinion in the absence of evidence?

We call it prejudice."

Michael Crichton

"To give up responsibility for our lives is not healthy."

Michael Crichton

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. - P. J. O'Rourke

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too. - Peter De Vries

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. - Isaac Asimov

"Timing and arrogance are decisive factors

in the successful use of talent."

Marya Mannes

"Those who are in reality superior in intelligence can be accepted

by their fellows only if they pretend they are not."

Marya Mannes

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H. L. Mencken

"The sign of an intelligent people is their ability

to control their emotions by the application of reason."

Marya Mannes

"The curse of the romantic is a greed for dreams,

an intensity of expectation that, in the end, diminishes the reality."

Marya Mannes

"If American men are obsessed with money,

American women are obsessed with weight.

The men talk of gain, the women talk of loss,

and I do not know which talk is the more boring."

Marya Mannes

A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits. - Woodrow Wilson

All the world's a cage. - Jeanne Phillips

The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible. - Bertrand Russell

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

"Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble."

Martin Mull

"A cult following is a nice way of saying very few people like you."

Martin Mull

Let us accept truth, even when it surprises us and alters our views.

- George Sand

"Everything can be taken away from a man but one thing:

the last of the human freedoms--

to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances,

to choose one's own way."

Viktor Frankl

There remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable. Veneration for this force beyond anything that we can comprehend is my religion

Albert Einstein

"Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character.

But if you must be without one, be without the strategy."

Norman Schwarzkopf

"I admire men of character

and I judge character not by how men deal with their superiors,

but mostly how they deal with their subordinates."

Norman Schwarzkopf

The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work. - Harry Golden

I hold that a strongly marked personality can influence descendants for generations.

- Beatrix Potter

Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies. - W. L. George

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. - Frank Zappa

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Albert Einstein

What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the print I have read in my life.

- Walt Whitman

Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others. - Jules Renard

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Nihilism is best done by professionals. - Iggy Pop

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. - Robert Heinlein

Those whom the Gods would destroy, they first call promising. - Cyril Connolly

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

"Mistakes are a fact of life.

It is the response to the error that counts."

Nikki Giovanni

"If you want to change the world, change yourself."

Tom Robbins

"Of the seven deadly sins, lust is definitely the pick of the litter."

Tom Robbins

"In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak."

Tom Robbins

Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. - Soren Kierkegaard

Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing. - Randy K. Milholland

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. - Oscar Wilde

"The love we give away is the only love we keep."

Elbert Hubbard

"Men are not punished for their sins, but by them."

Elbert Hubbard

"If you would have friends, first learn to do without them."

Elbert Hubbard

"If you suffer, thank God! It is a sure sign that you are alive."

Elbert Hubbard

"Pray that success does not come any faster

than you are able to endure it."

Elbert Hubbard

"A man who marries a woman to educate her falls victim to the

same fallacy as the woman who marries a man to reform him."

Elbert Hubbard

"The recipe for perpetual ignorance is:

Be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge."

Elbert Hubbard

"If your religion does not change you,

then you should change your religion."

Elbert Hubbard

"I would rather be able to appreciate things I can not have

than to have things I am not able to appreciate."

Elbert Hubbard

"Talent is often a defect of character."

Karl Kraus

"I don't like to meddle in my private affairs."

Karl Kraus

"Failure can get to be a rather comfortable old friend."

Mignon McLaughlin

"Life is a mixed blessing, which we vainly try to unmix."

Mignon McLaughlin

"It is always safe to tell people that they’re looking wonderful."

Mignon McLaughlin

"The know-nothings are, unfortunately, seldom the do-nothings."

Mignon McLaughlin

"Hope is the feeling we have that the feeling we have is not permanent."

Mignon McLaughlin

"A nymphomaniac is a women as obsessed with sex as the average man."

Mignon McLaughlin

"For the happiest life, days should be rigorously planned,

nights left open to chance."

Mignon McLaughlin

"A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else.

The same with good manners."

Mignon McLaughlin

"It is important for our friends to believe that we are unreservedly

frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not."

Mignon McLaughlin

His mother had often said, When you choose an action, you choose the consequences of that action. She had emphasized the corollary of this axiom even more vehemently: when you desired a consequence you had damned well better take the action that would create it.

Lois McMaster Bujold, "Memory", 1996

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.

Mother Teresa (1910 - 1997)

Some are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same.

Pearl Buck (1892 - 1973), quoted in O Magazine, May 2003

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. - Mark Twain

I think the world is run by 'C' students. - Al McGuire

"He who hesitates is bossed."

Robert Byrne

"Never trust anyone over-dirty."

Robert Byrne

"A fool and his money are soon partied."

Robert Byrne

"Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins,

you can't imagine the smell."

Robert Byrne

The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.

Francis Maitland Balfour

Let us make one point, that we meet each other with a smile, when it is difficult to smile. Smile at each other, make time for each other in your family.

Mother Teresa (1910 - 1997), in her Nobel lecture

Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.

Japanese Proverb

"Get in good physical condition before submitting to bondage.

You should be fit to be tied."

Robert Byrne

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time;

it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."

Sydney J. Harris

"The way to be nothing is to do nothing."

Nathaniel Howe

"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh."

Robert A. Heinlein

"Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy."

Robert A. Heinlein

"You can go wrong by being skeptical

as readily as by being too trusting."

Robert A. Heinlein

"Always listen to experts.

They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it."

Robert A. Heinlein

Old Age is like everything else.

To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young."

Fred Astaire

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. - Mark Twain

"To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am."

Bernard Baruch

"Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative."

Maurice Chevalier

"I don't know how you feel about old age, but in my case

I didn't see it coming. It hit me in the rear."

Phyllis Diller

"Old age equalizes--we are aware that what is happening to us

has happened to untold numbers from the beginning of time."

Eric Hoffer

"Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked

because they would take too long."

W. Somerset Maugham

"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm.

Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do."

Golda Meir

"Old age is rather like another country.

You will enjoy it more if you have prepared yourself before you go."

B. F. Skinner

"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man."

Leon Trotsky

"Old age is a special problem for me because I've never been able

to shed the mental image I have of myself--a lad of about 19."

E. B. White, said at age 70

People are, if anything, more touchy about being thought silly than they are about being thought unjust. - E. B. White

Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know. - Marvin Minsky

A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way. - John Tudor

"Since we are destined to live out our lives in the prison of our minds,

it is our duty to furnish it well."

Peter Ustinov

"To refuse awards is another way of accepting them

with more noise than is normal."

Peter Ustinov

"Terrorism is the war of the poor, and war is the terrorism of the rich."

Peter Ustinov

Political advertising ought to be stopped. It's the only really dishonest kind of advertising that's left.

David M. Ogilvy

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.

Eugene McCarthy (1916 - 2005)

In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.

Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821)

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.

John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006)

Politics is made up largely of irrelevancies.

Dalton Camp

No wonder Americans hate politics when, year in and year out, they hear politicians make promises that won't come true because they don't even mean them - campaign fantasies that win elections but don't get nations moving again.

Bill Clinton (1946 - ), Detroit Economic Club, August 21, 1992

A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman of the next generation.

James Clarke (1854 - 1916)

Cocaine is God's way of saying that you're making too much money. - Robin Williams

"Never order food in excess of your body weight."

Erma Bombeck

"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

Erma Bombeck

"Unexpected intrusions of beauty. That is what life is."

Saul Bellow

"I love solitude but I prize it most when company is available."

Saul Bellow

People want economy and they will pay any price to get it - Lee Iacocca

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone - Anthony Burgess

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men - Kin Hubbard

Never judge a book by its movie - J. W. Eagan

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis - Margaret Bonnano

What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.
- Doug Larson

The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it.
- Bill Nye

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
- Scott Adams

"The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts."

Marcus Aurelius

"Our life is what our thoughts make it."

Marcus Aurelius

"Nurture your mind with great thoughts,

for you will never go any higher than you think."

Benjamin Disraeli

"The world is made up for the most part

of morons and natural tyrants, sure of themselves,

strong in their own opinions, never doubting anything."

Clarence Darrow

Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
- Bill Watterson

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.
- Dan Quayle

Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too.
- Richard M. Nixon

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

Timothy Leary (1920 - 1996)

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.

Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."

H. Jackson Browne

"We all write poems;

it is simply that poets are the ones who write in words."

John Fowles

The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time. Willie Tyler

If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.

Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.

Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

"Art is indeed not the bread but the wine of life."

Johann Paul Richter

"Love lessens woman's delicacy and increases man's."

Johann Paul Richter

"Too much trust is a foolishness, too much distrust a tragedy."

Johann Paul Richter

"No one is more profoundly sad than he who laughs too much."

Johann Paul Richter

"Criticism often takes from the tree

Caterpillars and blossoms together."

Johann Paul Richter

"As a rule, for no one does life drag more disagreeably

than for him who tries to speed it up."

Johann Paul Richter

"A man never reveals his character more vividly

than when portraying the character of another."

Johann Paul Richter

"What a father says to his children is not heard by the world,

but it will be heard by posterity."

Johann Paul Richter

"Never write on a subject without first having read yourself full on it;

and never read on a subject till you have thought yourself hungry on it."

Johann Paul Richter

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.

Mae West (1892 - 1980)

Not every story has explosions and car chases. That's why they have nudity and espionage.

Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum, Unshelved, 09-14-08

"In a war of ideas, it is people who get killed."

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

"Sometimes you have to be silent to be heard."

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

"To torture a man, you have to know his pleasures."

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

"On every summit, you are on the brink of an abyss.”

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

"No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible."

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

"Do not trust people. They are capable of greatness."

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

"You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories."

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

"A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance."

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

"Half my life is an act of revision."

John Irving

"It was a sound like someone trying not to make a sound."

John Irving

"Wherever the TV glows, there sits someone who isn't reading."

John Irving

"They were involved in that awkward procedure of

getting to unknow each other."

John Irving

"When however small a measure of jealousy is mixed with

misunderstanding, there is always going to be trouble."

John Irving

"What is hardest to accept about the passage of time is that the people

who once mattered the most to us are wrapped up in parentheses."

John Irving

"Religious freedom should work two ways:

we should be free to practice the religion of our choice, but we must

also be free from having someone else's religion practiced on us."

John Irving

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
- George Best

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
- Bob Wells

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
- Evan Esar

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

To err is human; to forgive, infrequent.

Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960)

"Inquiry is fatal to certainty."

Will & Ariel Durant

Without the aid of prejudice and custom I should not be able to find my way across the room.
- William Hazlitt

The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.
- Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there.
- Mickey Friedman

"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and

an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky,

manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."

P. G. Wodehouse

"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly

on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun."

P. G. Wodehouse

"Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love,

but of mummifying the corpse."

P. G. Wodehouse

"I could see that if not actually disgruntled,

he was far from being gruntled."

P. G. Wodehouse

What we become depends on what we read after all of the professors have finished with us. The greatest university of all is a collection of books.

Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

"How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct."

Benjamin Disraeli

"Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly,

caught in the web of duty."

Stephen King

Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies.
- W. L. George

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
- Dan Rather

When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.
- Abraham Lincoln

Reality is something you rise above.
- Liza Minnelli

There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses.
- George Bernard Shaw

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
- Jane Wagner

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
- Elvis Costello

Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule.
- Stephen King

There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.
- William James

There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.

Salvador Dali (1904 - 1989)

The goal of all life is death.

Sigmund Freud (1856 - 1939)

It is the nature of all greatness not to be exact.
- Edmund Burke

When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of putting it into practice.
- Otto von Bismarck

The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you.

Nancy Astor (1879 - 1964)

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance

and order and rhythm and harmony."

: Thomas Merton

He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him.

Eddie Cantor (1892 - 1964)

"Action springs not from thought,

but from a readiness for responsibility."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Our enemies approach nearer to truth in their judgments of us

than we do ourselves."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld3

You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.

Stanislaw J. Lec (1909 - 1966), "Unkempt Thoughts

Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was.

Margaret Mitchell (1900 - 1949)

Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy.

Charles Peters

When you live in Texas, every single time you see snow it’s magical.

Pamela Ribon,

Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.

Stanislaw J. Lec (1909 - 1966)

I only drink fortified wines during bad weather. Snowstorm, hurricane, tornado--I'm not particular, as long as it's bad. After all, any storm for a Port.

Paul S. Winalski

"Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent

and well-informed just to be undecided about them."

Dr. Laurence J. Peter

"It is your enemies who keep you straight.

For real use, one active, sneering enemy is worth two ordinary friends."

Edgar Watson Howe

The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.
- Scott Adams

Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them.
- Robertson Davies

"Every man has a right to be conceited until he is successful."

Benjamin Disraeli

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.
- Daniel J. Boorstin

Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'

Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations.

Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877), "Biographical Studies", 1863

"Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent."

Jean Kerr

"Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical.

He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite."

Jean Kerr

"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep.

That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?"

Jean Kerr

"Women speak because they wish to speak,

whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something

outside himself--like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks."

Jean Kerr

"Nurture your mind with great thoughts.

To believe in the heroic makes heroes."

Benjamin Disraeli

The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.
- Joseph Conrad

A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward.
- Jean Paul Richter

Getting caught is the mother of invention.
- Robert Byrne

This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli

Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.

Unknown

Man has to suffer. When he has no real afflictions, he invents some.
- Jose Marti

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
- Thomas A. Edison

The smaller the mind the greater the conceit.
- Aesop

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Spike Milligan, from "The Goon Show

The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better.
- Randy K. Milholland

Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood.
- Louise Beal

"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in.

Aim at earth and you get neither."

C. S. Lewis

He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.

Saki (1870 - 1916)

"The news and the truth are not the same thing."

Walter Lippmann

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

Lynda Barry

"If a small thing has the power to make you angry,

does that not indicate something about your size?"

Sydney J. Harris

"The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats

nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts:

to return love for hate, to include the excluded,

and to say, "I was wrong."

Sydney J. Harris

"To understand the heart and mind of a person,

look not at what he has already achieved,

but at what he aspires to."

Kahlil Gibran

Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

If you believe everything you read, better not read.
- Japanese Proverb

"Work is not, primarily, a thing one does to live,

but the thing one lives to do."

Dorothy L. Sayers

"Silence is more eloquent than words."

Thomas Carlyle

"They only are wise who know that they know nothing."

Thomas Carlyle

"If what you have done is unjust, you have not succeeded."

Thomas Carlyle

"The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none."

Thomas Carlyle

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
- Oscar Wilde

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan

What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance.

Havelock Ellis (1859 - 1939)

Society, my dear, is like salt water, good to swim in but hard to swallow.
- Arthur Stringer

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
- Isaac Asimov

"Consultant: an ordinary guy more than fifty miles from home."

Eric Sevareid

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
- John Lehman

Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King Jr.

If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Tom Robbins (1936 - )

One of the indictments of civilizations is that happiness and intelligence are so rarely found in the same person.

William Feather (1908 - 1976)

You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in.

Arlo Guthrie (1947 - )

We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic.
- David Russell

"Example is not the main thing in influencing others.

It is the only thing."

Albert Schweitzer

"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more,

do more, and become more, you are a leader."

John Quincy Adams

Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come.

Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967), The People, Yes (1936

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so.

Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

"There is no such thing as darkness; only a failure to see."

Malcolm Muggeridge

"Sex is the ersatz or substitute religion of the 20th Century."

Malcolm Muggeridge

"All of us admire people we don't like

and like people we don't admire."

Malcolm Muggeridge

"Good taste and humor are a contradiction in terms,

like a chaste whore."

Malcolm Muggeridge

"People do not believe lies because they have to,

but because they want to."

Malcolm Muggeridge

"Few men of action have been able to

make a graceful exit at the appropriate time."

Malcolm Muggeridge

The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.

John Ciardi (1916 - 1986)

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
- Doug Larson

Every composer knows the anguish and despair occasioned by forgetting ideas which one had no time to write down.

Hector Berlioz (1803 - 1869)

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

Russel Lynes

You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.

John J. Plomp

Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.

Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)

Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew's Passion' on a ukulele.

Bagdikian's Observation

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones

"Every form of government tends to perish

by excess of its basic principle."

Will & Ariel Durant

"It may be true, as Lincoln supposed, that

'You can't fool all the people all the time,'

but you can fool enough of them to rule a large country."

Will & Ariel Durant

"Just as we develop our physical muscles

through overcoming opposition--such as lifting weights--we develop

our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity."

Stephen R. Covey

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

Great part of being a grownup, you never have to do anything.
- Peter Blake

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
- Fran Lebowitz

Children are all foreigners.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."

Fran Lebowitz

"My favorite animal is steak."

Fran Lebowitz

"Meetings are indispensable when you don’t want to do anything."

John Kenneth Galbraith

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
- Jackie Mason

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
- Herbert Hoover

"If all else fails,

immortality can always be assured by spectacular error."

John Kenneth Galbraith

Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had.
- Michael Crichton

"Under capitalism, man exploits man.

Under communism, it's just the opposite."

John Kenneth Galbraith

"In art, 'good enough' is not good enough."

Ursula K. Le Guin

"To see a candle's light, one must take it into a dark place."

Ursula K. Le Guin

"Almost everything carried to its logical extreme becomes depressing,

if not carcinogenic."

Ursula K. Le Guin

"It is possible that people need to believe they are unmanaged

if they are to be managed effectively."

John Kenneth Galbraith

Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content.
- Louis L'Amour

There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Everything you can imagine is real.
- Pablo Picasso

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan

"People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction

rather than surrender any material part of their advantage."

John Kenneth Galbraith

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.

Richard Dawkins (1941 - ),

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.

Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)

If there were no God, there would be no Atheists.

G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)

The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived.
- Oscar Wilde

I hope that when I die, people say about me, 'Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
- Jack Handey

"Most human beings are quite likeable

if you do not see too much of them."

, Robert Lynd

"To do easily what is difficult for others is the mark of talent.

To do what is impossible for talent is the mark of genius."

Henri-Frederic Amiel

To be great is to be misunderstood.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), An Essay on Self-Reliance

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
- George Burns

In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
- Alfred Hitchcock

Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.

Edgard Varese (1883 - 1965)

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.

Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)

No one goes there nowadays, it's too crowded.

Yogi Berra (1925 - )

Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.

A. J. Liebling (1904 - 1963)

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

Darrin Weinberg

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

Bernard Bailey

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
- Eugene McCarthy

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.
- Joseph Conrad

I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
- Carl Sandburg

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.

Adrienne E. Gusoff

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.

Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.

Peter da Silva

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.

Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993)

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Bill Watterson (1958 - ), Calvin and Hobbes

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

George F. Will (1941 - )

They err who thinks Santa Claus comes down through the chimney; he really enters through the heart."
~ Mrs. Paul M. Ell.

It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air."
~ W. T. Ellis

Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.
- Samuel Johnson

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

Regards,

April Campbell-McMillan