MENOPAUSE SUCKS

Depression is raising it's melancholy head in my ongoing struggle with Menopause.

I've been alternating between ignoring it, and hoping it'll go away; to being afraid of getting fired because I fear its been interfering with my effectiveness.

So I go to the doctor (read: clinic), and discuss this with the physician that drew my lot. He feels that because I'm choosing to doubt myself, I probably am depressed. And prescribes an anti-depressant. I am very careful to mention that I do not want one that will mess with my libido. He doesn't think the newest ones have as much of an issue with this, and encourages me to try it first.

I fill the prescription. Then I went home, and read the inserts dealing with side effects, etc.

WELL... it will make you gain weight. It may cause migraines. You should not take ibuprofen, aspirin, warfarin, or other blood thinning products while on it. And it may affect the libido.

Of course, I'm fat enough, am already prone to migraines, and ibuprofen is the only thing that helps when I have one. And my healthy sex life is one of the things that keeps me married.

So I have not started the regimen. I am going to see my friends at Circle of Health, hoping they'll have a natural approach to make me feel more balanced.

In the meantime, I've started my menses for the first time in 4 months. I am bleeding like a stuck pig, and do not trust the heaviness of the flow to go out and call on customers. I'll probably leave a the least, a spot on the back of my skirt, and at the most, a bloody trail into and out of the building. Really, it's gross.

And PAINFUL! I don't think I've had more than 2 or 3 minutes pain free at a time.

Well, as I like to tell myself when I'm bemoaning my fate ... at least I'm not in Afghanistan. Life could DEFINITELY be worse.